When John and I went to Oregon with just a three week old Micah to find a place to live, we felt very overwhelmed. I was nervous knowing I was moving out of my bubble of safety. We looked for the first day and found a few prospects, but none I was jumping up and down about. When we went to this little apartment complex in Gresham. The manager had just had a baby of her own, and was dealing with phenomena and a couple other kids while her husband was at his other job. They were provided with a little house that had a yard, which was un common for people who manage apartments to have, but as I walked into their home my trip to Oregon took on a much homier feel. I noticed pictures around their small home that were definitely art work done by LDS artists.
I turned to the women and said, "You're LDS?"
She replied, "Yes."
I said, "Me too."
She smiled at me with a "silly girl" kind of smile and said, "Your from Utah!"
"Oh, Yeah." I replied. Guess that can be pretty obvious.
She then took us up to see the apartment she had available for us. I wasn't too interested in the apartment, but I did want to know more about her and the church around there. I asked her if she liked Managing.
"Why?" Came her quick response, "are you interested in managing?"
"No, not really I was just wondering."
She then described what she did as a manager, and took us back to her home to talk for awhile. Even though this women was a stranger, and definitely a very A type personality, she made me feel comfortable in Oregon in a way I hadn't felt yet. So when she got kind of serious and asked us again if we would be interested in managing, we stared to actually consider it. She told us that her husband and her had been praying for an LDS couple to take over the apartment complex, because they were moving to Utah to finish his degree at the Y. See, the missionary's lived there, and they helped them out a lot, and they hated to leave them stranded. There were other reasons, but John and I really started to feel like it was right. It is nice to think you are an answer to someone elses prayers. I remember sitting there listening to her, and I remember the spirit whispering to me, "don't think this is the spirit bearing witness that this is the right thing." But I shrugged off the prompting, thinking it was just my worries of taking on a job that I hadn't planned on taking. I felt happy with that couple, and that is how I wanted to remember my experience of visiting Oregon, Happy and needed.
When I went home and told my parent about what had transpired, they were shocked to say the least, and not happy. They saw the situation totally different, and didn't think I could handle a job like that while taking care of my small children. But John and I felt like it was right and continued to plan our move with being apartment managers as part of the plan.
A few weeks later my mom would come home from a Dr's visit where she had learned that the doctor's son was attending school at OHSU. The Dr's son and his wife managed apartments. The son was going to be in town for a few days for a rotation in Utah, and my mom wanted me to go and meet him and find out what life is like for them doing both medical school and managing apartments. So I went and meet Dan Bishop. He told me he was going into his fourth year of medical school and that his wife had just had their second baby. He gave me their phone number and told me I could contact Christy so that I could learn for myself what the experience had been like from her.
I did call her, she was very helpful and kind, and encouraged me that I could be a wife of a medical student and manage apartments at the same time and make it all work. I don't think this was what my mother was hoping for, but I was feeling better about our plan all the time.
About a week and and a half before we were supposed to move, John and I received a phone call from the management company telling us that the man who owned the property wanted to change what he wanted from the people who were going to manage it. There were a few different scenarios that happened over a few two day period. 1) We would live in an apartment and not the cute little house with the fenced in back yard, or 2) Still live there but pay $500 in rent each month and still do what the other managers were doing. Everything was unraveling. It was not what John and I had pictured. It felt like we were giving a lot to be managers of these apartments and not getting a lot. BUT if it was what the Lord wanted for us, we would still do it.
So we started to pray, John fasted, and we decided to go to the temple. Which was no easy feet since I was still nursing Micah. It got more complicated when the bountiful temple was closed for maintenance, and we had to drive all the way to the SLC temple. We didn't have time to do anything else, but go to the celestial room and ponder. We sat there for a while before the spirit whispered to me and said, "why are you looking for a job, it is your time to be a mom." I was very surprised by this thought and wondered if had been my own inner thoughts wanting this and not the spirit telling me. I leaned over to ask John what he thought, and the spirit spoke again and said, "wait." So I did, but I leaned over to John and said, "have you felt anything yet?" He shook his head. So I waited. Soon after, I heard him kind of suck in air, and I looked over at him. He said, "I just thought of something, why are we looking for you a job, it is your time to be a mom." I seriously almost jumped out of my seat. I told him what I had just felt, and we knew with a surety what our answer was. Not only did we have that witness, but as we left the temple and I checked my cell phone, I had two messages. One was from the rental company telling me that they had decided to not represent this property any longer, and thus they didn't have a job for us at this time. The second message was my acquaintance Chirsty Bishop who was calling to let me know that they had an apartment become available, if we needed one. I was completely humbled. If I had questioned before if the Lord KNEW me, and understood my circumstances, I know knew with assurity that he did know me, was concerned for my welfare, and had made it completely clear that he had prepared the way for us to go to Oregon, so that I could feel of His love for me.
I can not tell you how hard it was for me when I first moved to Oregon. I had a lot to learn, and I can not imagine what would have happened if I had had the added stress of having to be a manager of apartment buildings. I know it was a huge blessing. It was an answer to prayers that still has a great impact on me today.
Let me state "TO EACH HIS OWN." My answer was for me. Many of my friends have side things that they do besides being a mom. I look at them and wonder how they make it work. I couldn't do it. I am yelling at my kids, even now as I am trying to type this post. The stress, the time, the energy spent on the other interest, would either burn me out so I couldn't do as well with my mothering(and I don't do such a great job now), or it would make me want to do it more, and slowly my families importance would slip on my priority totem pole. I know myself well enough to see this, and to see the blessing in my answer to a long ago said prayer.
Now you might be thinking about my photography and thinking you do have a side thing...it could be looked at that way, but may I remind you, I do it probono. If I do make money, it goes strictly to the Disneyland fund, so I can give special time back to my kids. I have to do it this way, lest I open up my self to the greedy money monster that looms inside me. John makes just enough to cover our NEEDS and some of our lower cost wants. This will not always be the case, but for know it is. I could find a lot of motivation to want to improve our monthly income, but I have to remind myself, "now is my time to be a mom." No amount of money I could make would compensate for being a failure as a mom, and I have to keep reminding myself of that.
I have a lot of pride and want for attention to be drawn to my photography. It is a battle I wage inside, and soon I am telling myself your not really good enough to be out there anyway. I also find it kind of funny, that when all my kids will actually be in school, and I could try my hand at, invest money and time into my photography, John will be making enough money that I won't be able to use that reason as an excuse.
I think there is a time and season for everything. I can still develop my talents. My children are beautiful subjects!!!
This was my answer to my prayer. I know the prophets have told us first and foremost we are mothers, and our work is in the home. I had that confirmed to me, but each person is entitled to their own revelation. And who knows your circumstances better then the Lord? I surely don't. I am not judging. Mostly journaling, and reminding myself.
I can't count how many times I have blogged about these wonderful people and what an impact they have had on my life, and others. They are the Wilbergers.
