Time, good books, our life

Almost 12 years. Almost 12 years of school, not to mention the 12 years before that, have finally lead us to the place we are about to be. I realize I was only involved in about 15 of these years, but still this seems like a pretty long time to me.

So where are we about to be? Well, if faith proceeds miracles, which I am trying to show major faith, we will be somewhere else soon. If it doesn't, it looks like we will be right her for another year.

Undergrad? Check. Medical school? Check. Residency? Almost check. Fellowship? Fellowship? Fellowship? Ahhh...check for now?!?

Fellowship as our future with a HUGE question mark by it is has been the big life question for the last like 12 months, although it seems years at this point. Some may be thinking a fellowship is only one more year. I too thought this at one point. It was silly, I even said something about it to John. It went something like this...

Me: Remember when you were on your mission honey, and I wrote and asked you whether I should continue to go to school or just try to work a lot and make some money?

John: Yeah?

Me: Well, maybe that applies to the fellowship situation.

John: Are you telling me twelve years of education isn't enough?

That is where the conversation stopped. Since then we had a glimpse of the end. It was a job in bountiful. Long story short, we didn't get it. It is hard to see the possibility of the end and then have it taken away. Our dream job up in Logan is not available this year. There will be a position next year, but what to do in-be-tween? And who knows if we will even get the job in Logan.

It is a scary world out there...that job world, it makes the school life seem safe and inviting in ways, but then again you ain't making money in the school life. We have thought about jobs outside of Utah, but we just don't feel like that is where the Lord is wanting us right now. It makes me sad in ways. I wouldn't mind going back to Oregon, but even then, I imagine life as it was before. With all of my friends still there, and the ward the same. Things change. They do, I am just wondering why it isn't time for our lives to change 12 years of the same old thing can get pretty boring!

As I have been enveloped in these question about our future, I kept going back to this post my friend did about "good books" Her name is Carly Syndergaard. She is such a great writer. She captured in this post how I am trying to feel about our future. Here is a small exert of it, but if you get a chance go to her blog and enjoy some of her awesome, random writings!

"I stayed up way too late last night......finishing a book. I rushed it, I hate when I do that. I rushed the ending and now I am in a curl up and read kind of mood and all I have is one of Ben's dental journals that came in the mail. They can be boring and lame but sometimes I get desperate....A good book is like having treats in the cupboard, I can try and slowly enjoy them but in the end they just disappear way too fast and I'm hungry again. Hungry enough to read about surgical techniques involving soft tissue graphs....This week my head has been daydreaming, a lot. Ideas, dreams, inspiration and a rush of excitement for the experience of life has been rolling through me....

It's a good story, I'm anxious to know how it turns out.

But I've learned my lesson......the middle is the best part.

I'm not rushing the ending."

Okay, cutting parts of it really doesn't do it justice. Go here to read it!

But I am trying to be patient, have joy in the journey, and dream about what God has planned for our little family!