Time, good books, our life

Almost 12 years. Almost 12 years of school, not to mention the 12 years before that, have finally lead us to the place we are about to be. I realize I was only involved in about 15 of these years, but still this seems like a pretty long time to me.

So where are we about to be? Well, if faith proceeds miracles, which I am trying to show major faith, we will be somewhere else soon. If it doesn't, it looks like we will be right her for another year.

Undergrad? Check. Medical school? Check. Residency? Almost check. Fellowship? Fellowship? Fellowship? Ahhh...check for now?!?

Fellowship as our future with a HUGE question mark by it is has been the big life question for the last like 12 months, although it seems years at this point. Some may be thinking a fellowship is only one more year. I too thought this at one point. It was silly, I even said something about it to John. It went something like this...

Me: Remember when you were on your mission honey, and I wrote and asked you whether I should continue to go to school or just try to work a lot and make some money?

John: Yeah?

Me: Well, maybe that applies to the fellowship situation.

John: Are you telling me twelve years of education isn't enough?

That is where the conversation stopped. Since then we had a glimpse of the end. It was a job in bountiful. Long story short, we didn't get it. It is hard to see the possibility of the end and then have it taken away. Our dream job up in Logan is not available this year. There will be a position next year, but what to do in-be-tween? And who knows if we will even get the job in Logan.

It is a scary world out there...that job world, it makes the school life seem safe and inviting in ways, but then again you ain't making money in the school life. We have thought about jobs outside of Utah, but we just don't feel like that is where the Lord is wanting us right now. It makes me sad in ways. I wouldn't mind going back to Oregon, but even then, I imagine life as it was before. With all of my friends still there, and the ward the same. Things change. They do, I am just wondering why it isn't time for our lives to change 12 years of the same old thing can get pretty boring!

As I have been enveloped in these question about our future, I kept going back to this post my friend did about "good books" Her name is Carly Syndergaard. She is such a great writer. She captured in this post how I am trying to feel about our future. Here is a small exert of it, but if you get a chance go to her blog and enjoy some of her awesome, random writings!

"I stayed up way too late last night......finishing a book. I rushed it, I hate when I do that. I rushed the ending and now I am in a curl up and read kind of mood and all I have is one of Ben's dental journals that came in the mail. They can be boring and lame but sometimes I get desperate....A good book is like having treats in the cupboard, I can try and slowly enjoy them but in the end they just disappear way too fast and I'm hungry again. Hungry enough to read about surgical techniques involving soft tissue graphs....This week my head has been daydreaming, a lot. Ideas, dreams, inspiration and a rush of excitement for the experience of life has been rolling through me....

It's a good story, I'm anxious to know how it turns out.

But I've learned my lesson......the middle is the best part.

I'm not rushing the ending."

Okay, cutting parts of it really doesn't do it justice. Go here to read it!

But I am trying to be patient, have joy in the journey, and dream about what God has planned for our little family!

Sunday Gratitude

I am grateful...

1. Good health that has allowed me to turn the ripe old age of 32!
2. Good friends for both me and my kids!
3. John having an excellent rotation the last 4 weeks!
4. New recipes that make me feel like a good homemaker!
5. Good writers who write good books and good blogs!
6. Family...extended family...ones who like to hangout with you.
7. Forgiveness, I need it...always.
8. My girls. I am glad I have them, and they have each other.
9. My boys. They don't like spending time together as much as my girls, but their love is evident in different ways.
10. My John Boy. He makes everyday good, not just my birthday!

Just love her!

She is changing and growing so fast. As she changes, I know I am too. My role is changing. I no longer change diapers, I hardly have to even wipe her bum anymore. What will my role be when In two years she goes to school full time? Life is changing. It is exciting and unknown at the same time. All the while I will love and adore this girl! She makes my heart so happy!

Quick trip to California

Right after Valentines, my kids and I took off with my parents on a long drive to California. It was long, but not bad because my parents had invested in double DVD players! I felt a bit guilty as my kids watched hour after hour of TV, but I quickly got over it as the smiles QUIETLY passed by! Wet took the trip so that we could see my beautiful niece and her beautiful cousin get baptized! This trip made me consider one day having a pool and hot tub. I didn't know how well it would occupy my kids time. What a life saver! It is hard taking trips without John! Bytheway, that pool was not warm, but my kids loved it!

This is Deb, my sister-in-love. She is amazing...amazingly busy, but handles all of her stresses and a house FULL of people amazingly well!

My brother Kevin is a horse vet. My kids always love visiting him at his "office." So many foals are there to adore. this new "office" is nothing like his beautiful one i Kentucky, but i don't think my kids minded. It still had horses after all!

Here is the beautiful girls on their big day! Micah will soon follow. My baby is growing up!

*pretty funny and embarrassing story to follow*

Saturday, LATE afternoon, from some prompting(thanks Matt), Debbie announces that I get to speak the following day at the baptism on the Holy ghost. Yes, it would have been nice to have a little more time, but it really didn't seem like a huge deal, until I was told there was no working printer in the home. Hmmm, my mind starts to wonder how I will be able to write a talk and commit it to memory this fast. I was thinking I should have insisted on bring John's ipad. John could have lived without it for 5 days! Then I think of Debbie's brother Dave, who has a tablet of some sort. He willingly allows me to use it for my talk. Looking back it probably would have been a good idea to rehearse using it once before the actually talk, but it didn't cross my mind.

The day of the baptism arrives, and the baptisms' are beautiful. Then comes the talks. Dave went first and did a great job. Then the two special girls of the day sing a song. They have put a special platform up by the pulpit so that the girls are high enough to be seen as they sing their wonderful song. I remember as one of the men moved the platform after thinking, "man that is big." It was a fleeting thought. I was now up to bat for my talk. I got up there, turned on the tablet, and there was my talk. No problemo right? Well, I did not realize that this tablet turned off literally every 15 second, which when you are trying to give a talk feels like every 5 seconds. So I would start and have to stop, turn it back on slide open the lock, and find my place in the talk. To say the least it was kind of frustrating. Some might have abandoned the tablet and gone from memory, but by this time I was so flustered there was no chance of that.

Enthusiastic, would be the word to down play how grateful I was to be done with the talk. You may now be wondering where is the funny part of this story, well it is coming. Remember the large platform the girls sang on?....As I quickly turned to flee from the spot where I gave the talk, my foot caught on the platform. Yes, people I fell....flat. Was it graceful? No! Was it soft! No! Was it completely and utterly embarrassing? Yes! Did it hurt? YES! Did I jump up and yell something cool to break the tension, like "rock on!" No, it was a baptism after all. I hobbled up by myself(I think everyone else was in shock too), and walked to my seat. My kids were quick to make sure their bleeding mother was OK. In fact it made me realize Micah is going to be a great mom. As I tried to keep the tears in my eyes she dabbed at my wounded knee and kissed my check, trying to soothe my wounded pride.

Later at the end of the meeting, the Bishop rose to give some closing remarks. I had regained most of my composure by then, but wasn't really paying to much attention, until I hear him say, "I owe Sister Farr an apology." I feel every pair of eyes in the room turn to look at me. My head drops as I hear him say, "you need to always listen to the spirit kids, because if I had, Sister Farr would not be hurt. I had a prompting to turn the platform on its side, and I didn't. I hope Sister Farr will forgive me." At least it was some thing like that, because to tell you the truth, I was so embarrassed I don't truly remember it word for word. But shortly after he said it there was a pause, and I remember barley audibly whispering, "it's OK." It was not a experience I hope to have again anytime soon, especially since my hip still hurts pretty bad from it a month and a half later. One thing that did come out of it for the good, was that I will now have more sympathy for my children who have scabs on their knees. Those suckers hurt! They break open every time you walk and take forever to heal! Good lesson huh?!

We did have a great time on our trip and will be repeating it soon when John will accompany us the beginning of April. Hopefully this trip will have a few less falls to accompany it.